Coaching with Parents

Coaching with Parents: A Partnership That Creates Safer Drivers for Life

Learning to drive is a major milestone for any young person and for their family. But what often gets overlooked is how vital a role parents and guardians play in shaping the attitudes, habits, and decision-making of a newly qualified driver. As driving instructors and coaches, our job is to lay the foundations. But to truly embed safe driving behaviours, we need support from home.

This isn’t just about rules or supervision, it’s about creating a coaching environment where learning continues long after the L plates come off.

Parents Are Driving Influencers

According to the National Standard for Driver and Rider Training, good driving instruction isn’t just about skills, it’s about developing drivers who can self-evaluate, reflect on their performance, and take ownership of their development (Unit 6.2 & 6.3). This includes understanding how behaviour, emotion, and peer pressure can influence choices on the road (GDE Matrix Level 3 & 4).

Parents and carers are in a powerful position to support this. They know your child best. Their guidance, encouragement, and values shape how they think about responsibility, and this extends to how they approach driving.

That’s why the best results come when instructors and parents work together. We encourage parents to see themselves not just as supervisors, but as co-coaches.

Using Coaching and Behavioural Techniques at Home

Driving instructors use coaching because it helps learners become thinking drivers able to manage risk, reflect on decisions, and adapt to the situation ahead. We should encourage parents & guardians to do the same at home, using simple but proven Behaviour Change Techniques (BCTs) drawn from RAC Foundation guidance:

1. Goal Setting (BCT: Action Planning)

Ask your child what they want to achieve in their driving this week. For example:
 “What’s one thing you want to feel more confident about before the next drive?”

Setting specific, meaningful goals gives focus and increases motivation.

2. Self-Monitoring

Get them to reflect on how they’re doing. Use scaling questions to encourage insight:
 “If 10 is really confident and 1 is really unsure, where are you with roundabouts right now?”
 “What would move you up a level?”

This is an essential part of National Standard Unit 6.2 – "Support the learner in reviewing progress."

3. Prompting Reflection (BCT: Feedback on Behaviour)

After a drive, ask open-ended reflective questions:
 “What went well today?”
 “Was there anything you’d handle differently next time?”

Avoid blaming or judging. Coaching is about support, not correction.

4. Providing Social Support

Your belief in them makes a difference. Tell them when you see progress and remind them that making mistakes is part of learning.
 “You stayed really calm on that tricky junction, great progress.”

Encouragement builds confidence, which is critical during the first-year post-test. The most high-risk time for young drivers.

After the Test: The Learning Doesn’t Stop

Passing the test is a proud moment, but it’s not the end of the journey, in fact, it’s just the start of independent decision-making. Research shows that crash risk is highest in the first 6–12 months post-test, especially where peer influence, overconfidence, or poor risk perception are involved.

This is where parents can make a real difference by using supportive restrictions based on behavioural science.

Instead of strict rules, co-create agreements with your child. This makes them feel part of the process rather than being controlled. For example:

• Limit night-time driving until they gain more confidence.
• Set boundaries for peer passengers during the first few months — peer pressure is a known risk factor.
• Have agreed rules on mobile phone use, music volume, and social trips.
• Encourage short, familiar routes before progressing to longer journeys or motorways.

Let your young driver take the lead in planning and reviewing these boundaries. This is in line with National Standard Unit 6.3.1 – “Create a climate that promotes learning.”

Getting Involved: Encouraging Parents & Guardians to Part of the Process

Want to take it a step further? Encourage parents & guardians to join a driving lesson. Many instructors are happy to involve parents to help align your home support with what we’re doing in the car.

 Parents & Guardians can gain:

• A clearer understanding of how your child is being coached
• Practical tips to use during private practice
• Confidence that you’re reinforcing the right habits

This joint approach means the learner receives a consistent message from both instructor and parent, which is a powerful behavioural cue.

Final Thoughts

Your role doesn’t end once the driving test is passed. In fact, it becomes even more important.

By encouraging parents and guardians to build a coaching-based relationship with their son or daughter, one that uses encouragement, reflection, goal-setting and shared responsibility. We’re not just helping them become a legal driver. We’re helping them become a safe, thoughtful, and independent road user for life.

We don’t just want young people who can pass a test. We want young people who can protect themselves and others. And that takes teamwork.

Together, we can create confident drivers who stay safe, not just get through the test.

Tom.